About
The Bird
Six short months before Lizzie was taken, the three of us sat together in the conservatory of a holiday cottage near Dumfries, Scotland. Rain pattered steadily outside, keeping us indoors. We decided to spend the afternoon painting – an impromptu “togetherness” activity. Each of us chose something from the garden to paint, and later we’d compare our creations.
If it had been a contest of artistic skill, Jane would have been the clear winner. My own attempt – a rather unconvincing tree – lacked … well, talent. Lizzie, meanwhile, painted a bird. I couldn’t tell you what species it was, and really, that doesn’t matter. What mattered was that it was hers: bright, innocent, full of charm. It reflected something of Lizzie herself: wide-eyed, gentle and full of love.
She added a message to the painting before giving it to us: “To Mummy and Daddy, I love you.”
That small, unprompted gesture from our 17-and-a-half-year-old daughter, who lived with FASD, remains one of the most poignant memories we hold. It wasn’t a gift, per se; this wasn’t about making things for each other. It was simply a rainy-day activity. And yet, out of that moment came something precious.
Six months later, Lizzie was gone.
The bird she painted would become the visual heart of our podcast’s first series. It later inspired the creation of the ‘bird family’ used across this website – a symbolic depiction of Jane, Lizzie and me – helping us navigate the delicate question of how to represent ourselves publicly. We didn’t want anything too generic, nor anything that felt uncomfortably personal. The stylised bird family, drawn in the spirit of Lizzie’s painting, struck the perfect balance.